"All the News That's Fit to... Well, You Know"
One of Flapping Terror's frequent viewers, Kacy S., sent me (the webmaster) an e-mail about a Disney On Ice performance featuring everyone's favorite masked mallard! Here I will quote the e-mail in its entirety, and include the pictures that came with it (be warned, they're pretty big JPG files). Enjoy!
Hi Melissa. As you may have guessed, I was rather psyched to hear about Darkwing Duck's comic book revival, so I figured it was a good time to send this in. I recently acquired the program books for some of the old Disney On Ice shows on eBay, and among those was the one I was most interested in checking out - "Double Feature... Live!" This was the one that was touring around the time "Darkwing Duck" came out, and since this was back in the time when Disney was actually willing to promote their TV cartoons as much as their movies, they were able to feature him. So, since I'm willing to contribute to your Darkwing website, I've included scans of Darkwing's appearance in the program book. Actually, I shouldn't be calling these scans, because they're not. The Disney on Ice program books are too big for my scanner, so instead I had to take photos with my dad's digital camera. And it wasn't easy, either; I had to find a spot with the right lighting conditions in order to avoid the dreaded lens flare. Additionally, I had to apply GIMP's "Sharpen" filter on the second and third shots so that the text would be readable. But hey, so long as you get it, right?
Anyway, commentary: The first photo is a close-up of Darkwing and Launchpad from the front cover of the book, or rather the back cover. See, the people doing the marketing for this ice show really ran with the "double feature" deal. While the other ice shows' program books are all read like typical straightforward books, this is what I call a flipper book. The first half of the show, which is about Mickey and his pals being captured and shrunk by Don Karnage, is covered on one side of the book, and the second half, about Roger Rabbit showing off his new video machine to present vignettes starring Darkwing and Chip 'n Dale, is presented on the other side, along with the obligatory credits, descriptions of the producer and actors, and advertisement for the Ringling Brothers circus. Naturally, you have to flip the book upside-down when you turn to the other half.
The second and third photos (the ones I had to use the "Sharpen" filter on) are of the page spreads from the book that focus on the scene(s) featuring Darkwing. For this adventure, we get an exclusive villain by the name of Ice-Head Harry, played by Andrei Torossian (who also portrays explorer character Andy Jones in the first act). Although his name would suggest an ice-themed supervillain along the lines of Mr. Freeze, he actually appears to be just a generic gangster who only gets the "Ice-Head" monnikor from the fact that he's being featured in an ice show. For some reason, he has the hots for Daisy Duck (called Dazzles here, but we know it's really Daisy playing a role) and steals the so-called Diamond of Love in attempt to woo her. She rejects his offer since, you know, she already has Donald, so Ice-Head has his mooks, the Hoods, tie her to a keg of dynamite. Luckily, Launchpad apparently happens to be passing by when this comes up, and Daisy's backup dancers ask him to get help. As you can guess, he calls on DW to save the day. And if the photos are to be taken into account, DW apparently brings a bunch of cops in purple uniforms with him. Yeah, they're obviously meant to be backup dancers (and to arrest the bad guys after DW finishes them off), but I don't think DW has ever really needed police assistance before, and certainly wouldn't need it for something as simple as untying Daisy from a keg of dynamite. Oh, and by the way, Roger Rabbit is illustrated on both spreads because the main plot of this half of the show was that Roger's showing off this and a vignette about Chip 'n Dale as "the Lone Chipmunks" from his new video machine - which blows up at the end, of course.
And just in case you or any of the site's visitors still have trouble reading the text, here's a transcription of it:
Ice-Head Harry, the most cold-blooded villain in St. Canard, is determined to win Dazzles heart [sic] by any means, fair or foul. "You guys heist this 'rock' for me, I'll give it to this gal, and sweep her right off her feet."
The Hoods steal the Diamond of Love just in time, but Dazzles isn't buying Ice-Head's arrogant offer. "It's gorgeous, but I can't accept it. You know my heart belongs to another!"
Angrily, Ice-Head orders his hoods to tie Dazzles to a keg of dynamite and lights the fuse. "Nobody gives Ice-Head the cold shoulder."
The Dazzlettes sing it like it is. "Well, she had to choose... so they lit up the fuse... now they're kickin' up their shoes... wile Dazzles sings the blues!"
Poor Dazzles! While the fuse grows shorter, the Dazzlettes plead with Launchpad McQuack to "find a hero who can solve this crime, and free Miss Dazzles in the nick of time."
Launchpad knows exactly who can help: The Caped Crusader of St. Canard, Darkwing Duck.
The crime is solved as easily as slipping on ice.
Dazzles is set free and the cops haul Ice-Head Harry and his Hoods off to the cooler.
Photo #4 is the obligatory double-page cast shot that they have at the end of all the Disney On Ice program books. Besides Darkwing and Launchpad, this spread also shows a few other (now-)rarities from Disney's costumed characters department. Particularly, we can see Baloo and Louie in their "TaleSpin" outfits, which they stopped wearing when that show stopped running, and perhaps even harder to find pictures of than the Roger Rabbit costume is the one of Gyro Gearloose (behind Dale). Also, if you compare how Donald and Daisy look here to more recent photos of them from the parks, you can tell how their appearances changed between then and now. Yes, I oughta mention I've recently taken an interest in some of the rarer character costumes from Disney's theme parks and ice shows. I find it odd that Huey, Dewey and Louie didn't show up at the parks till "DuckTales" came around, and nowadays their appearances have become very rare (the most recent sighting apparently being this photo of them with the Jonas Brothers). I also find it odd that they almost never have Pete show up in theme park form, when I clearly know there does exist a Pete costume (they used it in one of the earlier ice shows, as a matter of fact), and I think it's stupid that they don't have Phineas & Ferb be meetable at the parks despite featuring them in the Christmas parade last year. Heck, I even find it odd that the costume they've made of Mickey in his usual attire (just the red shorts and yellow shoes) is only being used in the Playhouse Disney live tour. But that's probably something meant for another e-mail. Oh, and back on the subject of the photo, is that the pre-1997 Disney Channel logo behind Mickey & Minnie?
The program book also came with a free board game based on the show, though I probably shouldn't call it a board game because it's actually made of paper. Like the book itself, the "board" game is double-sided with one side based on the first half of the show, and the other side based on the second. So, photo #5 is a close-up of Darkwing, Launchpad, and Daisy/Dazzles on the "Roger Rabbit Video Adventure Game" that makes up one side of the game.
The last photo featured here is one I might have sent to you before, but in case you lost it (seeing how you don't appear to have posted it on the site), here it is again. This is a close-up taken from the promotional poster for the show, focusing on Darkwing and Launchpad and Daisy (and Dale, because I couldn't crop him out of the shot).
That said, I hope you appreciate my sending you these photos, and I anticipate seeing them uploaded to the site. Incidentally, I am also working on another thing to contribute to my site soon (to the "Other Avians of Interest" page, to be exact), so expect to hear from me again sometime soon. And good luck in getting a better server; that Tripod bar on the top is annoying me too!
Thank you, Kacy! And you hear that, Tripod? Get rid of the stupid bar already!
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