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feathered femme fatale
Thursday, 28 August 2003
Five Days Left, and Counting

Well, I have only five days left until I start my first day of college. I have two classes a day on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday, three classes on Thursday, and no class on Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Yesterday, Mom and I went to Hunter to go over my routes to, from, and through school. We also paid a visit to what I think has got to be the greatest sweet shop in the world: Dylan's Candy Bar. There's candy motifs everywhere you look, plus candy-themed music playing throughout the store, and even TVs showing candy-themed videos. They've got practically every popular candy you can imagine, in every flavor. To top it off, they even serve ice cream! I talked to John about the possibility of him visiting the place. Celebrities have actually gone there and signed packages of candy to be put on display. Even Monica Lewinsky has candy there... surprisingly, her candy didn't consist of chocolate cigars. >;)

I got Garbage Pail Kids bubblegum from that store. Yes, they've re-released those cards and stickers! I added them to my collection of stickers Topps released in Mad Magazine. There was an ad in the card pack for this new card game being released in 19 days from now called Creepy Freaks. I checked out the website, www.creepyfreaks.com. While the monsters are interesting, the 3-minute video they had turned me off. It was an animation of these established characters doing an actual battle. It's like a rip-off of Pokemon severely diluted with gross jokes. *shudders* The story about the characters and how they became in involved with the monsters is completely unoriginal. The characters feel like their personalities came from the Official Book of Cliches. Kids might like this (emphasis on "might"), but parents definitely wouldn't. In other words: DON'T BUY CREEPY FREAKS.

Oh, one more thing: the new boat is huge. 31 feet long. And it wasn't a duck decoy, it was a small painted clay duck that looks like a drake mallard. I like it a lot anyway.

Okay... five days... college... I'm nervous... wish me luck. The end.


Posted by doubleoduck at 2:20 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 28 August 2003 2:22 PM EDT
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Friday, 22 August 2003
New York, New York-- what a hell of a town!

Finally got home by train two days ago... and I've been pretty cranky these past two days. I got into more arguments with my aunt before I left, but fortunately we patched things up very quickly. I had drawn a picture for these two girls from Togo who were discussing staying with Eldest Aunt in the near future while they studied at college or high school. They were sisters who spoke French as their first language. One knew a whole lot more English than her sis, though.

Ever since I got home, I've been exercising more and eating less, and I've lost weight already. I visited Hunter, too. They have a special program for people like me with disabilities (in my case, emotional disabilities). I brought in a letter from my psychologist as proof I needed help. However, I have decided not to take any special services yet (like double-time on tests). I want to see if I actually need them first. Chatted with John again last night. He was actually on AIM a few minutes ago, but I was talking to someone on MSN messenger. I have to get in contact with another buddy I cut off last night from talking with John. I feel really bad about telling the guy I couldn't hold two convos at once-- the truth is, I can't!! Argh...

Mom and Stepfather are taking me to the new boat they bought while I was gone. It's called the Sea Dream. Our previous two boats were, consecutively, the Sea Breeze, and the Sea Wolf. They got bigger each time, and hopefully this will be the last boat. I'm getting tired of Stepfather wasting money. Hopefully I'll grow to love this new boat. Mom says it came with a duck decoy I can keep for myself, so there's a plus. ;)


Posted by doubleoduck at 5:16 PM EDT
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Friday, 15 August 2003
Hi-ho-diggety!

I'm in a very CatDog mood today! People may think it's the worst show on Nickelodeon, but I know better. It may not be the best show ever created, "But darn it, it's good enough for me!" (to quote Slinky Dog from Toy Story). I just visited a CatDog website (which I have appreciated for almost a year now), and now I'm bouncing off the walls. I created characters for the show two years ago... Tunya Felina and Biscuit Canino. I kept adding more characters, too: Screech Dubois, Lenny Dubois, Tiffany Cashmere, Roxanne, Brenda, Diana Pygg, Melanie Whistlestop, Salmone Felina, and Bones Canino.

Tunya Felina is a pop star who works for Rancid Records. Her rival is Biscuit Canino, who sings R & B for Rancid Records. Tunya and Biscuit hate each other with a passion and will stop at nothing to outdo one another. They've even been doing Battle of the Bands-type concerts in a tour across the country, and Nearburg is their next stop. Tunya is the daughter of Salmone Felina, a famous opera singer, and therefore has somewhat refined tastes. Biscuit is the daughter of Bones Canino, the gym teacher at Farburg School. Biscuit used to live in Poundburg, where she was the leader of a gang called the Poundburg Pups. Roxanne and Brenda were the other two members. Unfortunately, Biscuit's leadership was wrested from her when Tiffany Cashmere showed up with her boyfriend, Lenny Dubois (Shriek's estranged older brother), and she gets him to beat the bejeezus out of Biscuit. Tiff took over as the gang leader, and changed the gang's name to the Poundburg Pinks. Screech Dubois is another estranged sibling of Shriek (her sister), and she's the mother of Shriek's neice, Squeak. As to Melanie Whistlestop and Diana Pygg, let's just say they're potential girlfriends for Mervis and Dunglap and that they make a fine fried green tomato.

... I know, I have waaaay too much time on my hands.


Posted by doubleoduck at 3:24 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 15 August 2003 3:32 PM EDT
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Thursday, 14 August 2003
I'm not a monster, am I?

On Monday, I got into a horrible argument with Eldest Aunt... which led into physical violence... and I ended up biting her arm. I felt horrible for doing it only ten minutes later, when I was calming down in my room. Fortunately, I didn't break the skin, but I did bruise her. I still feel bad about it. She has forgiven me, though. She punished me with no TV or computer for one day. I know I deserved much, much worse punishment... if we were living in the 50's, she would have probably took out a belt and beat the living bejeezus outta me. But, my aunt isn't that kind of person. And we're living in the 21st century.

This isn't the first time I've acted so extreme. Maybe people love spoiling me, and that's why I don't get punished for things as severely as I ought to be. But I'd like to believe that God knows I'm trying to help my problems get solved and that I don't mean to react so badly. I was born with a chemical imbalance and I must deal with it. But why the hell does everyone else have to deal with it, too? Can you blame me for apologizing long after an event has happened, and calling myself stupid and terrible all the time? I seem to abuse myself a hell lot more than I do to other people.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not making myself look good by pointing all this out. At least, I hope that's not what I'm doing. Who doesn't have a chemical imbalance? It doesn't make me special. I have yet to meet one person who's "normal." The thing is, I'm highly spiritual and I take things to heart. In other words, my emotions are super-sensitive, making my reactions fierce and unintentionally dramatic. (I say unintentionally because a lot of people claim I'm a drama queen. I can assure you that all my emotions I convey are very much as powerful as they are expressed.) So if I see a gigantic cockroach on the floor, and I jump up onto a chair screaming, in a sense, I'm not overreacting. I actually do feel that way. I am very true in self-expression. That's why I'm so passionate about my artwork. That's why I blew up when those kids in ninth grade poured glue on one of my paintings... and demolished my paper mache' model I never got to finish because of their sadistic faggot-@$$es!! ... Ahem, sorry. Got carried away.

What got me angry with Auntie in the first place was that I thought she was mad at me for something, she told me it was nothing, and I didn't believe her. I allowed myself to get worked up over it, and things escalated to a point that shouldn't have come to pass. I have a hard time trusting others, even those I love the most, because of all the crap people have done to me. I almost always end up trusting the wrong people, and they hurt me badly. Let's see... my father used to beat me and yell at me when I was young, my stepmother gave me a fat lip in first grade, my older sister told my father a secret I trusted her not to tell that cost me any chances of having an actual loving relationship with my father, I've had people pretend to be my friend and then turn their backs on me with a vengeance, I've had people wreck my stuff and steal them or throw them away never to be recovered, I've been beaten up, I've had crap thrown at me, I've been laughed at, and I've been literally spit on.

Seriously, it's no wonder I have issues. If I have to go through this sh*t again in college, I swear I might kill myself. Okay, maybe not... I really don't know what I'd do, though.

There's a WAIT performance on Saturday. I hope I'll be able to make my final performance with them a good one. And I hope to patch things up with the other WAIT members for the way I've been acting with them. God give me strength, please...


Posted by doubleoduck at 10:32 AM EDT
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Saturday, 9 August 2003
"There's an arrow in your butt!"

Hee-hee, I just had to quote that from "Shrek." Mainly cuz there may not be an arrow in my butt, but there is a mosquito bite on it. It's a really big bump, ouch! Good thing I can still sit! LOL

Speaking of Shrek, they're releasing "Shrek 2" next year! YAY! I loved the first movie, so the second will be really good, I can feel it. Not even today's movie writers who crank out sequel after sequel these days can ruin Shrek. If you wanna hear what details I've gathered on this sequel, keep reading. If not, skip to the next paragraph now . . . you still here? Okay, but remember, there are *spoilers* ahead! So anyway, Shrek and Fiona were married at the end of the first flick, so now they're settled in Shrek's swamp house when they receive a letter from Fiona's parents, the King and Queen of the land Far, Far Away, a fairy-tale equivalent to Hollywood. They think Fiona married Prince Charming, the son of Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, and not a 700 lb. ogre with bad hygiene. They also have no idea that Fiona is also an ogre now. So Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey head off to the land Far, Far Away in their onion carriage while the Gingerbread Man and various few others watch after the house. Of course, the King and Queen receive one hell of a surprise. The King is especially unhappy about this, and he hires Puss in Boots to kill Shrek so that Fiona can marry Prince Charming. But Puss in Boots is persuaded to help Shrek win the favor of Fiona's parents... by having Shrek and Donkey drink Happily Ever After Potion, which turns the two of them into "beautiful" versions of themselves! Pretty exciting huh? My only concern is that the original writers of the first Shrek flick didn't get to work on the sequel, so I hope that doesn't screw things up.

My mom and Eldest Auntie are not too keen on the idea of me speaking to John Kricfalusi on the telephone. Apparently they don't like the thought of a man in his 40's talking to an 18 year-old. I can't say that I blame them (and I don't) but it makes me upset that they might be getting in the way of what could be my big break. That, and I truly want to be friends with John. I mean, he's a really, really cool guy! I hardly think he would try anything that would tarnish his reputation. The faith his fans have in him are one of the main supporting beams that keep Spumco (and "Ren and Stimpy") going.

Anyway... there might be only 11 days left until I go back to New York. Then I can really get working on Flapping Terror and Mario's World Online (yes, both of those sites are mine). I really miss Mom and Stepfather.

Female DWD Villains I've Designed

  • Polly Cinders, a.k.a. "Flame Fatale" : Uses pyrokinetics to her advantage, as well as her seductive charms.
  • Scarlett Fever : Can produce biochemical sludge at will that infects victims with a highly contagious and unidentifiable disease.
  • Jill Featherton, a.k.a. "Pretty Poison" : With touch alone can physically affect victims with concentrated negative energy; she can turn a freshly cut rose into a dry, blackened mass with a finger and a thought.


    Posted by doubleoduck at 12:49 PM EDT
  • Wednesday, 6 August 2003
    Oops... I did it again...

    I exploded again last night. I was under a lot of pressure for various reasons, and I kept telling the WAIT members that I was unfit to be a member of the team with all my problems; because it wasn't just me who had to deal with it, with my powerful emotions, everyone had to. Fortunately I managed to calm down and enjoy the rest of the evening. But now I'm worried about what WAIT thinks of me. Perhaps I should put more energy into WAIT instead of worry so much. Yeah, that would be the logical thing to do.

    A psychic once told me I have psychic abilities of my own, due to my connection with the Spirit World thru my twin sister, Lena. It may sound like cock and bull to the general masses, but I believe it. I've been practicing my abilities since that time (as I was told they were underdeveloped). The psychic said my specific ability was foretelling the future, but I believe I have a few other powers as well. For example, a few minutes ago I asked to feel the energy surrounding my aunt, who is at work at the moment. From what I could feel, she has a lot on her mind and is currently performing a lot of tasks... but that's all I know. Then again, if I wanted to be specific, and this is just a shot in the dark, but she may have been feeling a negative thought and then went to work on her computer. I'll ask her about these things occuring between 9:20 and 9:30.

    I discovered my ability to feel auras of energy when I went to Barrytown. STF is a Unification Church program, and at the end of the day we all joined in a huge circle, and after a song and group prayer we went into individual prayer. I asked God to let me feel the energy in the room. With so many people praying, there was a High energy that took me over. My eyes were closed, so no one saw them roll into the back of my head, nor did they see me shake ever so slightly. Tears formed in my eyes. It took a LOT of will power to tell it to stop. It was an incredible feeling though. It started out small, and then it gradually grew to an overpowering size. My Aunt warned me not to do that again in company where there may be negative energy, as it may hurt me. I'll keep it in mind for certain.


    Posted by doubleoduck at 9:40 AM EDT
    Updated: Wednesday, 6 August 2003 9:47 AM EDT
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    Tuesday, 5 August 2003
    Sha-la-la-la-la, writing blogs in the morning... sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la in the sunshine...

    Well, I was mistaken about Female Cousin. She had not gone back to Korea. She is, however, going for her second year in the Special Task Force (STF), the reason she went to Korea to begin with (I'm not sure where she's going next, though). We (Eldest Aunt, Norweigian Uncle, and myself) went to Saugerties, NY, by car and stayed at a hotel. The next day we went to the STF building in Barrytown to eat lunch and spend abit of time with Female Cousin. There was mostly speech-giving that day, so I spent a lot of time on my own, playing my Game Boy Advance and writing in my binder and drawing pictures. We went to Redhook to do Cousin's laundry, and to prevent any further boredom, I convinced Eldest Aunt to drop me off at the Merritt Bookstore. It was there I met a brown-haired woman of average height and weight with her blonde-haired, brown-eyed, 9-month-old baby girl named Alexis.

    I was peeking about the bookstore with great interest when Alexis caught my eye. Several times, in fact. Her mother continually caught me sneaking peeks at her child before finally acknowledging my presence. I sat down in the back of the bookstore with Alexis, playing with the wooden trains and things they kept for the little kids. I talked with her mother the entire time. I did a couple of things wrong... I showed Alexis a turtle figurine she was small enough to swallow (but fortunately she didn't with her mother's immediate intervention) and I "flew" a toy airplane too close to her head and eyes (though I didn't touch her with it, and I apologized for that anyway). Alexis kept handing me toys and smiling. She was perfectly comfortable and happy... but I noticed the mother was uncomfortable around me. She made me leave them alone by telling me they were going to look for toys to buy (they did sell small ones). They left the store without buying a thing, and I don't think they were capable of doing so anyway, because I saw Alexis's blue romper was ripped and covered in stains. I found the whole thing incredibly suspicious (you see, I usually charm the pants off people when I talk to them and had failed to do so with Alexis's mother), so I told Eldest Aunt. She figures that the mother was poor, and having a difficult time, so that was why she was uncomfortable. I hope I didn't to anything to add to her discomfort. I'd feel so ashamed if that were the case. I never mean to do things wrong, and yet I do it anyway... :(

    Anyway, we went home the next day (that's two days ago) and half an hour after we got home, I went to the WAIT meeting that was already in progress. Another half an hour, and I started screaming and crying. My head felt like it was on fire... not painful, but literally hot and burning. Jappish's parents gave me an icepack, Gatorade with ice-cubes, but nothing was helping. I continued to scream and cry. Finally they called Eldest Aunt, who brought me home and took care of me until my head felt better. What especially scared me was that this wasn't the first time this happened. The first time was when I was out with WAIT at a church (not the one in Baltimore, sometime before that) and I grew sick from being overheated and dehydrated. The next time was our first night at the hotel in Barrytown. Auntie had to give me wet cloths to help cool me down, but it didn't do very much, to be honest. the finaly time it happened before the scream-fest was in the car coming home from NY. I have a WAIT performance tonight in DC, and I'm wondering how everybody's going to look at me. This was the first time I had ever exploded in front of the WAIT team...

    I got into a huge fight with Eldest Aunt yesterday, but we're still on speaking terms. Everything was resolved just fine, so... anyway, I had shark meat for dinner last night, with boiled broccoli. Not bad at all. Shark tastes nice with soy sauce. It's a bit bitter sometimes, but it's nice and juicy. I asked Auntie what she thought of the idea of a world where sharks live on land and humans live in water. Da-dum-da-dum, da-dum-da-dum... AAAHHH!!! It's Human Jaws!!!! ... LOL!

    Huh, instead of sharks eating me, I'm eating them! Somehow that makes me feel delciiously evil. >:) Speaking of which, I recently got a book by Neil Zawacki titled "How To Be a Villain." It's really funny as hell. It'll help me write my Darkwing fanfiction quite nicely. I read a review of the book online; they say it's not quite as funny a book with the recent world events bringing "a surfeit of evil." I admit that was one of my first thoughts when I read the book, but I decided to forget about reality and just enjoy the book for its entertainment value. Needless to say, I love it! While I was in the Merritt bookstore, I found another book by a different author titled, "How to Be a Dictator." I wanted it, but due to certain circumstances I was unable to. I looked up the book online and found it went under another title, "How to Rule the World." I really want this book; it seriously reminds me of Pinky and The Brain, one of my favorite cartoons ever! Hmmph, even if John Kricfalusi, who I chatted with online for the first time about a week ago, told me he hated the show. Oh well, I don't hate him for that. It's his opinion, after all, and he's more than entitled to it. I repsect his views and take them seriously. He really dislikes all newer Warner Brothers cartoons. He prefers animation (not to mention country music) from the 30's to the 50's, anyway. He's quite a personality indeed, yodeling and tap-dancing and singing... Can you tell I like this guy? He's so interesting even beyond his animation work!


    Posted by doubleoduck at 10:06 AM EDT
    Updated: Tuesday, 5 August 2003 10:20 AM EDT
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    Wednesday, 30 July 2003
    I'd better get paid for this...

    Eldest Aunt had come home during lunchtime from work yesterday. I blew up at her for a reason I can't even remember, but I do know it was all my fault for getting upset. As always. So Eldest Aunt brought me to work for the rest of her hours. I had to scan in pictures for her and start on creating a circle chart.

    She says she doesn't want me folding into myself and getting all agitated as I was. So today, she's bringing me into work again. She's the art director at World & I Magazine. This isn't the first time I helped her, though... but the last time, I was paid money. Seems I won't get paid this year...

    In six days, I'm going to Rhode Island Ave. in DC to perform with WAIT. We're having a fundraiser and practice on Sunday, too. ANYTHING to get away from Eldest Aunt's office. Ugh...


    Posted by doubleoduck at 12:31 PM EDT
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    Tuesday, 29 July 2003
    This entry has no title, just words and a tune

    Well, let me tell you: our performance in Baltimore went extremely well. We went to a church (this wasn't the first time we performed in a church, either; I forgot to mention it here), and there was a fifteen year-old girl there with her mother, speaking about their experience with HIV. The girl's name was Ranika (I think) and her mother gave her HIV when she was born. The mother got her HIV from her first husband, who had infected seven other women before his death. Their story was heartbreaking in the beginning, but now they're doing great for the most part. Ranika is even starting her own fund! I was so inspired by this girl that I drew her portrait and gave it to her. She loved it!

    We did our performance after the talk. I played the doctor in our skit (I'll have to explain the whole thing sometime) and did my first emcee job. When we were finished, the church pastor and some other guy sang a hymn. Then the pastor made everybody in the room join hands and he prayed for the WAIT team in our success. Ranika's mom had even given Jappish's mom a check donation! I was so moved by everything that I broke down crying. There is so much love in this world... if only people could be exposed to it more often.

    That wasn't the first time I was moved by something so strongly while traveling with WAIT. At Camp Sunrise, we had all kneeled around the flagpole outside for individual prayer. The spiritual energy overwhelmed me and brought me to tears. I was crying so hard, but it was out of joy.

    I had my first chat with John Kricfalusi yesterday. We talked for two-and-a-half hours! Cripes! He gave me his number, and he really wants me to call him. He seems very eager to talk to me though... it kind of makes me nervous, to tell you the truth. I still have to talk to mom about calling him. On the up side, he likes my drawings! He says I draw well for my age. He gave me some drawing tips, too. I hope I get to meet him in person. That would kick @$$.

    Eldest Aunt and I have had some shaky moments during these past two weeks, but we managed to get past them. Female Cousin has long gone; she went to visit our grandparents and then went back to Korea. I won't see her again until Christmas. She wished me luck at Hunter College. Speaking of which, I'll be home two weeks before school starts. I'm really psyched and scared at the same time. I've been dreaming about college since childhood, and now it's finally happening. I hope I do well.

    I'm thinking of Youngest Aunt right now, Eldest Aunt's youngest sister. (My mother is Youngest Aunt's older sister, and Eldest Aunt's younger sister.) Youngest Aunt has been married to my Irish Uncle for almost a year. They know I'm hoping they'll have a baby. They tend to get nervous about that subject! ;) I wonder when we'll finally hear the words, "I'm pregnant," from Youngest Aunt's mouth? I've always wanted her to get married and have a baby. She's got one step down already!


    Posted by doubleoduck at 11:59 AM EDT
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    Friday, 25 July 2003
    And now, the latest Melissa news

    I've been drawing some risque pictures that are Ren and Stimpy related. Not porn, mind you. Just... rated R-ish. I don't know why I'm such a pervert with cartoons. I guess it's because of my lack of a love life, and the fact that I'm very much a kid at heart. Doing perverted things with cartoons is my way of making them grow up with me, and it's showing that I myself am having trouble adjusting to growing older... I'm not ashamed to admit that.

    Anyway, one picture is of Ren's parents. Their pelvic areas are covered with a blanket, but the rest of them is exposed. I was trying to get a good look at what one of their first "encounters" might have been like. Ren's mom looks a little hesitant, but she is about a few seconds away from being lip-locked with Ren's dad. They're somewhat spaced apart, you see. It's hard to describe what Ren's dad is feeling in this pic. He looks like he really wants her, but not in a lustful way... more like a "I'm going to cry if your heart doesn't give out to mine," kind of way. Meh, but the picture kinda sucks anyway.

    The other picture is of Ren smacking Stimpy... but not the usual way. He's kissing his nose! (*smak*) Stimpy's kind of lying down with Ren next to him, though you can't see most of Ren's body, hidden behind Stimpy's. One of Ren's hands is on Stimpy, and the other is on Stimpy's head. Stimpy is looking up at Ren with these large eyes, eyelashes showing, and he's sucking in his lower lip while smiling.

    You'd think the above would be a fairly innocent picture, but there's a bulge in Stimpy's fur... a rather large one at that! Hee-hee... It's just that in many of John K.'s non-kiddy drawings, an intense scene with male figures depict a bulge in the guy's pants, whether they're angry, scared, or even barfing. In this case, Stimpy is really happy (among other things) that Ren is showing some tenderness for once. I wanted to experiment a little.

    Anyway, I'm performing in Baltimore with WAIT today. Wish me luck!


    Posted by doubleoduck at 8:48 AM EDT
    Updated: Friday, 25 July 2003 8:49 AM EDT
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