This page lists different quotes, gems, pearls of wisdom, and stuff that's just plain rich from the Darkwing Duck characters! If you want to submit a quote, click here. Newest ones are at the bottom. Enjoy!
NOTE: This page is currently under serious construction!
Contributors: Melissa, Stephanie, Roaming Tigress, Joy Francomano
"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the winged scourge that pecks at your nightmares! I... am Darkwing Duck!" ~ Guess who?
"You should accept the things you cannot change! ... Or is that, 'you should change the things you can't accept?'" ~ Launchpad
""Hah! Your bourgeois morality would never allow you to hit a woman!"
"Ohhh... you're right. I... I can't do it. You do it, Gosalyn." ~ Splatter Phoenix, Darkwing
"I am the sourball in the candyjar of goodness! I am... Negaduck!" ~ Negaduck
"What is this?! Did I cross a black cat today? I can't waste one sappy hero?!" ~ Negaduck
"*gasp* You're a villain!"
"*mock gasp* You're a genius." ~ Stegmutt and Quackerjack
"So... ooh... squingly!" ~ Quackerjack
"I'll make him sizzle like spit on a griddle!"
"Ooh! Aren't we sounding folksy." ~ Megavolt and Quackerjack
"Never let an embezzler keep score." ~ Random crook
"Oh, well. A plant's gotta do what a plant's gotta do!" ~ Bushroot
"*chanting* Reggie's a veggie! Reggie's a veggie! Reggie's a veggie! Reggie's a veggie!" ~ Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson
"Son of a broccoli! What have I done to myself?" ~ Bushroot
"Christmas shopping gets more dangerous every year." ~ Bushroot
"*singing* 'Tis the season to be greedy!" ~ Bushroot
"Nononononononono! I'm not a dinosaur! These are my real nose and glasses, honest!" ~ Stegmutt
"Hot dogs, get your hot dogs!"
"Aahh! A dinosaur!!"
"Maybe burgers would sell better." ~ Stegmutt and random citizens
"Hi, Darkwing Duck! I thought I felt something brush against me!" ~ Stegmutt
"Somebody fell into Devil's Gorge and has a compound fracture of the lower mandible?" ~ Neptunia
"Well, it's not my fault I can't understand you. Maybe if you had a mouth." ~ Neptunia
"Fish, one... bigmouth, zero." ~ Neptunia
"That's it! We'll all go on a big date!" ~ Gizmoduck
"Hmm. This looks like a job for... what did you say?! Nothing! Oh. Good. Nevermind!" ~ Drake and Fenton
"Well, if you're not a crook, how come you're wearing a mask?"
"Hey, hey. Let's not get personal, helmet-head!"
"It came with the outfit!" ~ Gizmoduck and Darkwing
"Let the cleansing power of prison life wipe away your cares... and your sanity!" ~ Liquidator
"Look at him. He's nuts. He's out of his tree and completely insane! *pulls out a lightbulb* Isn't he, my wittle bubbwy-wubbwy?" ~ Megavolt
"Want professional help? Call Darkwing Duck!" ~ Liquidator
"Don't call me Sparky!" ~ Megavolt
"Help! My fruitcake, help! Shomeone shtole my fruitcake!"
"Hmm. Who would 'shteal' fruitcake?"
"I wish I knew. I could never get rid of the stuff!" ~ Random citizen, Drake, Launchpad
"It's PLAYTIME!" ~ Quackerjack
"Dialectical dualisms!" ~ Splatter Phoenix
"It's your fault I've sunk so low!" ~ Splatter Phoenix
"What foolish sentiment kept me from brushing this fly away before, I'll never know!" ~ Splatter Phoenix
"The worst part of public transportation is the public." ~ Darkwing
"I am the most fiendish terror that flaps in the darkest night! I am the skunk that pollutes your air! I am... NEGADUCK!" ~ Negaduck
"I am the shopping cart that nicks your paint job!" ~ Negaduck
"Virtue is its own reward!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, I say: don't get mad, get EVEN!" ~ Posiduck, Negaduck
"There is no such thing as a bad boy."
"Nice guys finish last!"
"Don't forget to floss!"
"Never eat at a place called Mom's!" ~Posiduck, Negaduck
"I've been itching to try the zoom lens on this baby!" ~ Megavolt
"That's right! Prepare to meet thy doom at the hands of the... the TWO most dangerous criminals ever! Together!" ~ Megavolt
"I forsee doom." ~ Megavolt
"*breathes deeply* I love the smell of voltage in the evening!" ~ Megavolt
"Over my dead batteries! Eat amperes, duck!" ~ Megavolt
"Oh, my sweet darling. You're the ampere of my eye!" ~ Megavolt
"I am not Darkwing Duck! I am his evil countpart, created by your machine."
"You mean--?!"
"Yes!"
"*hugs him* SON!" ~ Evil Darkwing, Megavolt
"Ingrate! You're no son of mine!" ~ Megavolt
"Darkwing Duck starring in his own comic book?! What's the world coming to?!?!" ~ Megavolt
"No, no, this is wrong, all wrong! And in definite need of repair!" ~ Megavolt
"Hold the phone, Graham Bell! I've had enough of you loquacious, self-important, granduer-deluded villains! I don't care about your stupid plot . . . or your crummy childhood . . . or dreams of global conquest or anything else! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!"
"NO! I want to tell you!"
"I'm not listening!"
"Don't make me get angry with you!!"
"*singing rather badly* LALA-LALA-LAAA-LAH!!"
"Your little games don't impress me, Dorkwing! So prepare to meet your maker while I spill the beans about my plans anyway! HAHAHAAAA!"
"LALALAL- ulp!!"
"You may as well sing the funeral march, now!! Hahaaaa!" ~ Darkwing and Pokerface
"Just feed the precious little tykes enough sugar, and look out world! Heh, heh." ~ Clawed Hopper
"I always forget the milk!" ~ Darkwing
"Bah! At least I didn't forget the milk!" ~ Clawed Hopper
"I AM NOT CUTE! WHOEVER HEARD OF A CUTE SUPERVILLAIN???" ~ Fluffy
"As the lion is king of the jungle, soon Fluffy will be the king of Saint Canard!!" ~ Fluffy
"Ah, some quick ranting always refreshes me! Now, back to business!" ~ Fluffy
"Witness, friends, the gloves that provide me with the only things that separate man from cat - opposable thumbs!" ~ Fluffy
"We have never even been allowed the simple dignity of eating with utensils!" ~ Fluffy
"Fortune smiles upon the doomed citizens of Saint Canard! They have been granted a slight reprieve, while I learn how to walk!" ~ Fluffy
"Up here, doodle-head!" ~ Fluffy
"But not this time, bubby! I'm gonna creeeeam you!!... But first, I'm going to show off a little!" ~ Fluffy
"No, Al! Drink it! It's good! Really! Come back here, you jerrrrk!" ~ Fluffy
"Don't be bitter! You cannot change your station in life - believe me, I've tried!" ~ Fluffy
"Ain't modern techno-loggy wonderful?" ~ Herb Muddlefoot
"Hey! Who ate all the heads off the gingerbread men? I wanted to do that..." ~ Herb Muddlefoot
"Honker, it's just not like you to lie, but until you stop, I'm gonna have to ground ya. No going outside to play, no television, no food, no water, no sunlight..." ~ Herb Muddlefoot
"You get them out of there, NOW!... Um, please?" ~ Honker
" - The mask of Darkwing Duck! Normally, I'd save the most dangerous trophy for last! But Darkwing Duck's card fell out of my catalog, and I didn't find it until spring cleaning!" ~ Mondo, the Mad Mask Misappropriator
"You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual!" ~ Darkwing
"Darkwing Duck, right on schedule! I admire that! You may be a klutz, but you are punctual." ~ Mondo, the Mad Mask Misappropriator
"Nine-hundred and eighty-two superhero masks - collect them all!" ~ Mondo, the Mad Mask Misappropriator
"Grrr! This time I won't be satisfied with just your mask as a trophy! This time, I'll want your pants, too!" ~ Mondo, the Mad Mask Misappropriator
"He who fights and runs away - gets to beat a long stretch in the state pen!" ~ Mondo, the Mad Mask Misappropriator
"The jig is up, you jaded, jug-headed, jack-in-the-box!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the raspberry seed you can't floss out!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the weirdo who sits next to you on the bus! I am... the Swan Prince?" ~ Darkwing
"I am the jailer who throws away the key! I am... feeling really stupid." ~ Darkwing
"I am the surprise in your cereal box!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the switch that derails your train!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the lollipop that sticks in your hair! I am - *SPLAT*"
"*laughs* Well, if it isn't Chocolate-Dipped Duck!" ~ Darkwing and Negaduck
"Care for a jawbreaker, sweetums?"
"Uh... why, thank you."
"One broken jaw, coming up! *WHAP*" ~ Morgana and Negaduck
"Negaduck, my little honeywumpus!"
"Hey! I'm supposed to be your little honeywumpus!" ~ Morgana and Darkwing
"Clever of me to use my spine to break my fall like that." ~ Darkwing
"Forget it, Gosalyn, you're too young to explode!" ~ Darkwing
"Funny, I didn't know turkeys could fly. D'oh, I hate that guy... woah-oh-oh!! *CRASH* I mean, I really hate that guy!!!" ~ Darkwing
"Gosalyn's sweet, Launchpad's insane, and Tank's polite?!?!" ~ Darkwing
"Get rid of him!" ~ Drake Mallard
"Great. I leave for five minutes, and Gosalyn's rewired the whole house!" ~ Darkwing
"*helpless* He drew on my map." ~ Darkwing
"Yep, yep, yep, yep. Stand back, everyone. It's true that Honker is a shy young man, but, I have dealt with this sort of thing before. Honker... SPIT IT OUT!!!" ~ Drake Mallard
"I am the mighty Darkwing Duck, and I pity the poor fool who stands in my way!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the rhinestone on the jumpsuit of justice!" ~ Darkwing
"I am the terror that hunts in the night! I am the jackal that gnaws at your bones! I am... Darkwarrior Duck!" ~ Darkwarrior
"I am the thing that goes bump in the night! I am the neuroses that requires a $500-an-hour shrink!" ~ Darkwing
"I could've had a life, but NOOO, I chose to be a clown, in a mask and a cape! All I need are long shoes and a bozo nose!" ~ Darkwing
"Don't think you can keep us here, you royal dinghy keeper!"
"Quiet! Or I'll summon the Darkwing Doubloon!"
"Yeah, QUIET!" ~ Negaduck, Drake, Fearsome Four
"Get any water on me and I'll evaporate ya!"
"You and what navy?!" ~ Megavolt, Liquidator
"Ooh, look at me, I'm shaking like a leaf!" ~ Bushroot
"If I don't do something really destructive soon, I'll go nuts!" ~ Megavolt
"That can't be Darkwing Duck! If it were Darkwing Duck he would've called me mean names like Bush-Brain and Melon-Head!"
"I think Bush-Brain is right!"
"Yeah, good thinking, Melon-Head!" ~ Bushroot, Megavolt, Quackerjack
"The whole reason I have a secret hideout is to get away from the geek squad!" ~ Negaduck
"Gits lonesomer than a mud puppy out here. After a while, you start seein' things." ~ Duane
"There was a tater in the road bigger'n Jake's cow!" ~ Duane
"Red taters you can reason with, but Russets... ugh, they's just plain mean!" ~ Duane
"Alright, every luxury a bride could want! You've got your own sprinkler system and a fertilizer supply!" ~ Bushroot
"Never again will I be lonely! Never again will I be told, 'I can't go out with you, you're just a shrub!' I've found the way to obtain the perfect bride! I'm growing my own." ~ Bushroot
"You have stolen the heart of the woman I love! I'm not gonna rescue you, I'm gonna mow you down!" ~ Bushroot
"I can't marry a potato! She's a tuber, and I'm a shrub! Well, they say opposites attract..." ~ Bushroot
"That lady in the cape almost killed us! You're supposed to protect the city from people like that!"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry! I - I tried to stop her before, but she... wait a minute, you're the villain! I'm not supposed to apologize to YOU! I'm supposed to SMASH you!" ~ Megavolt and Darkwing
"I - am Darkwing Duck!"
"Get ready to be Dead Meat Duck!" ~ Darkwing and Megavolt
"Alright... Dark-WING... you may be tough, but I'm not! Uh, or something." ~ Megavolt
"Yeah, I guess we owe you an apology, Drake. G'wan, g'wan, Ham, apologize!"
"Aw, gee, Drake, uh, sorry for acting like a chowder head."
"Aww, Ham... you weren't acting." ~ Preena Lott, Ham String, and Darkwing
"You just missed Darkwing Duck, man!"
"Darkwing Duckman? What is this Darkwing Duckman?" ~ Ham String and Drake
"Let's see, particle accelerations plus fade conversions equals... TOAST!" ~ Megavolt
"At last! I'll have revenge on those who tormented me! Those who made me what I am! Wha... what am I anyway?" ~ Megavolt
"I feel awful, stooping to such petty crimes. But you can’t imagine how expensive a thermonuclear warhead is these days!" ~ Negaduck
"Maybe dressing up as my do-gooder look-a-like is a rotten thing to do. But, hey, I'm Negaduck, a rotten kind of guy!" ~Negaduck
"If youse don't like dis recipe, den pay de one trillion dollars and we'll send youse de chicken salad instead." ~Steelbeak
"But we don't have a secret hideout! Why can't we go to your secret hideout?"
"Bushroot, if I let you go to my secret hideout, it wouldn't be a SECRET hideout anymore!" ~Negaduck/Bushroot
"If dere's one t'ing I 'ate, it's excuses! ...Make dat two t'ings I 'ate. Excuses, an' a seven-ten split!" ~Steelbeak
"Attention FOWL Agents! Come up with your hands up, or I, Gizmoduck, shall give you a sound thrashing!"
"Uh, yeah, right." ~Gizmoduck, Steelbeak
"I know the electromagnetic spectrum like the back of my hand. *looks at the back of his hand* What the heck is that?!" ~Megavolt
"Nice Darkwing costume, Drakey, but the real Darkwing Duck is much taller." ~Herb Muddlefoot
"We come from the planet Larson on the Far Side of the galaxy." ~Alien cow
"Hello, folks! I'm full of hate and wires!" ~ Mr. Banana Brain
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