Each day we die a little more

Strong Sad quote up there. I'm truly in the middle of a huge Homestar kick.

On Friday, I had a series of very fortunate events. It was extremely cold and windy on the way to school, but I spotted some dollar bills flying in the wind. I caught one, then found another two caught in a whirlwind that had formed in the corner of a wall. They were all singles, so I now had ten dollars to spend that day. Then in Philosophy class, my professor wanted to give away a free book he had received in the mail. He gave it to me just because I said, "Oooohhh!" when he showed it to us. (I'm just too cute sometimes, it scares me. ^_~) Then after school, I went to McDonald's and ordered two cheeseburgers and a chocolate milkshake. The cashier asked if I wanted to buy a $1.00 paper hand to donate to a children's charity. I said yes, but then she told me my order cost $5.32. I only had $4.00 and some odd change, so I asked them to knock off a cheeseburger. They did, and now it was a dollar less. They still let me sign the paper hand, tho. Then I got on my bus to go home. I looked in the bag, and surprise, surprise! They had forgotten to take out my second burger! I got a free cheeseburger! ^_^

Yeah, so that was freaky. In other news, I have an overdue assignment I have to hand in Friday or I'm doomed. Plus I have to write an essay for English, and I don't have a topic yet. And we've had that assignment for over two weeks. All my lazy-ass fault. -_-;;

I just got off the phone with my friend, whom I'll refer to as MLit. She concentrates so much on her weight and the food she eats, plus she's depressed as hell. I recommended Homestar Runner to her, and after playing wavs of the characters' voices, she was convinced. She's gonna look at the site tomorrow! Yay! I hope she'll like it. I hope things turn out okay for her.

Gonna update Flapping Terror on Friday... and I've got a Homestar Runner site in the works. Say hewwo to the Homestaw Sistew... I mean, Homestar Sister. By the way... check out this Zurg site by Tracy, it's cute! I love Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, don't you? I'm a Buzz / Mira shipper myself. ^_^

I look SO GOOD!

Teen Girl Squad!

Cheerleader!

So-and-So!

What's-Her-Face!

The Ugly One!

So guess which one I'm most like?

You're "Whats her face". You love baggy
pants, Avril Lavigne, and softball. You're the
pity friend of the group, and don't have any
real friends-even Thomas the Alien doesn't like
you. You enjoy pillow fights at sleepovers and
just might be a lesbian.

Which Member of Teen Girl Squad are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay, What's-Her-Face! She's my favorite! ... Hey, waitaminit, lesbian?!

Conformity Bites

A girl who's been rather friendly to me has told me today that I'll never fit in with anyone. It's a rather long story...

In psychology today, we were discussing human habit to make biased judgements. Professor Doan said that we have that habit because of its ecological validity. For example, if a green berry makes you sick, you then assume all green berries will make you sick in order to keep yourself alive. It's kind of like a survival instinct.

I then pointed out that such a habit it not truly needed for our modern society. I stated that we humans are not physically or mentally compatible for our modern society. When asked to explain this, I said, for example, that in the days of our nomad ancestors, we depended on fats and sweets to keep us fat and full during the harsh winters. We still have the inherent favor to eat sweets and fats, only our modern conveniences make it so that we can live in comfort all year round, plus we have an overabundunce of fats and sweets. That explains why 90% of the population is overweight.

I saw many people laughing as I tried to explain this. The girl sitting next to me told me that they were either shocked, surprised, or resentful because most things said in that class were irrelevant or unimportant, and I suddenly state something that actually correlates to the lesson. One of the students then asked a question related to my statement without really thinking about what I had said. Professor Doan then went completely off-track from the lesson to explain mental disorders that cause people to eat certain amounts - he did not make any sense of my correlation. The girl next to me then stated that he was trying to appeal to public opinion, because he's idiotic, and idiots do not admit what they do not know.

I had told her that I had often been laughed at for my intelligence before. It was then she told me I'd never be accepted by others. I told her that I wouldn't give up trying. I have always wanted to be accepted. But then she pointed out, "You've been trying so long already... I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but you're never going to fit in."

Maybe she's right. I have been shunned by my peers and authority alike for being different. It will most likely never end.

Ye gods, I sound like freakin' Strong Sad.

Which reminds me... I have been on a major Homestar Runner kick recently. To the point of where I'll probably be sent to Hell. *giggles*

I haven't really been mindful of Flapping Terror recently. I'll update eventually, probably after next week.

*yawns*

We didn't go to Blood Manor. And while we tried to do Halloween shopping, practically everything was gone. >:(

Anyway, I really ought to be doing my homework now. But I'm not in the mood. I will be in a minute once I kick myself for delaying as much as I already have.

On the upside, Mom got me a Super Mario Advance 4 stategy guide from Prima, and a Captain Gundam SD Gundam figure. I'm not a Gundam fan let alone a SD Gundam fan, but I can't resist this this cute little mecha bot. I just might get the other figures in his line. His design is just too wonderful to describe. I love my little Captain-bot. ^_^

Man, am I one spoiled brat or what?

Anyway, part of the reason I wanted Captain was because I'm thinking of creating a mecha robot for Darkwing Duck. I mean, a robot for Darkwing to use. And a team of supervillains with their own mecha to pilot against Darkwing's mecha! They'd most likely be F.O.W.L. agents, I think. Captain is a good basic design from which I can improvise a Darkwing-mecha.

Speaking of Darkwing, I'm working on a Liquidator romance fic called, "Fire and Water." It stars Bud Flood in his pre-Liquidator days, and how he met his now ex-girlfriend, Polly Cinders (my Mary Sue). It also describes how Polly discovers her ability to control fire. Hmm. I think my friend, Roaming Tigress, would like Polly. RT has a DW character who's a pyromaniac, Victoria Volatili (Steelbeak's wife). I wonder how well Vicky would get along with Pol?

Okay, I've got to go. Homework awaits. Blah. (Why won't Mom leave me alone????)

Happy Halloween

This is the fourth or so year in a row that I didn't get to do ANYTHING for Halloween. Mom had promised to take me to a haunted house, but she said the traffic was terrible. I was really upset. Thing is, it sucks to be 18 on Halloween, you catch my drift? Especially when you're friendless. So Mom promised we'd have a Halloween party next year-- and we'd plan ahead of time, starting tomorrow, so she'll have no excuse (her words, not mine)! I'm psyched because I've always wanted a party for years!!! Yayayayayay! :D

Anyway, I went to school today in a last-minute, makeshift "costume": I put on pigtails and tons of blush, plus lipstick, and I carried around my Little Mikey monster teddy bear. I told everyone I was a three year-old. To which my English professor responded: "Goo-goo." I got two Mary Janes as far as candy goes, but I only ate one because they taste weird and they'll crack your teeth off. I had a LOT of sugar today... actually, I've been having a lot of sugar all week. Which isn't good because my BMI is in the red zone. I have to lose 70 pounds. Scary, huh? There's your Halloween fright from me.

Appropriately, I bought "The Island of Dr. Moreau" book today. I haven't started reading it yet, though I did skim through the middle a bit. I also bought "Jewish Wit and Wisdom," "Shakespeare, A Book of Quotations," "Christina Rosetti, Goblin Market and Other Poems," and "Six Characters in Search of An Author." These books were uber-cheap, only $1.00 or $1.50 each, all from the same publisher: Dover. Mom also got me the first two books of "The Spiderwick Chronicles," which I've been wanting to check out. They seem to be a ripoff of "A Series of Unfortunate Events," but we'll see. Maybe they're good, and if they are, I'll let you know.

Speaking of Lemony Snicket's books, I want to get the collector's edition of "The Bad Beginning." It's $15.00, what a shame. Also, there's this book on dragons I really want to get, it's $16.00. Speaking of books on my want list, I want to get Tracy Pierce's "Earth Light." Tracy's a dear (online) friend of mine. She's an awesome artist and a brilliant writer... kinda like me. *cue ego inflation*

Well... I'm happy I'll get a Halloween party next year. I just hope Mom'll take me to Blood Manor in Long Island tomorrow. They've literally scared the sh*t out of two of their customers, and no kids under age 8 are allowed! Awesome! I really want to go tomorrow (it was closed today). I hope Mom takes me... after we go shopping for Halloween stuff at half-price tomorrow!

...

...

...

BOO!

I realize I've been awfully angry lately.

I wish I could change that mood for the sake of you readers out there, but my life's been sh*t lately. I'm eating like an absolute pig every morning, plus I've been slacking off when I've got midterms... I'm creating my own personal hell.

I know I have more than enough ability to stop it. But... how?

I feel like I'm gonna puke.

History is... history

Well, it was probably bound to happen. Because of my previous behavior is Salzman's class, he wanted me dismissed. Fortunately, I've already withdrawn from his class yesterday. A "W" on my record doesn't count against me, but I might be spending more time in college than I originally planned so I can make up for my history class.

I realize what I did was wrong. When I found out that Salzman didn't want me in his class, my feelings were hurt. I don't have the patience for him anymore, anyway. And I don't like him. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Am I wrong in saying that? Maybe, but at least I'm being honest.

I have almost no material to update Flapping Terror at this time, and it bothers me. I'll take care of my homework and think about the site later, I guess.

I started an account at deviantART, under the username ~melissaduck a few days ago. I have some art up, tho most of it is crap so far. Woo.

Where's the love?

For the second time in a row, I was forced to leave my History class early. The first time, it was because I felt anxious. This time, I had crumpled up the quiz paper I was supposed to hand in. I did it because I didn't know any of the answers. My teacher made a comment about my latest absences, so I left the class and told him "Freak you!" as I left.

Professor Jack Salzman is a total dick. I never want to go back to school again, except I'll be running away from a chance at a future. I'm always running away from everything. Why do I make so many excuses? Why am I such a coward? I want to die.

*cue phonecall with Mother*

*cue waterworks*

Dreams of the Fearsome Five

I often find myself having dreams about the Fearsome Five (from Darkwing Duck). In January, I had a dream about Negaduck...

I was in Saint Canard, somewhere close to Audubon Bay bridge, and I had a beautiful view of it. (It might have been near Megavolt's lighthouse.) I suddenly find a newspaper on the ground and pick it up. There is an article on a side column, on the front page, about a duck who went psycho five years ago, and there was even a photo of him. He had a mask, and with his expression he looked remarkably like Negaduck! (For some strange reason, he had dark hair.) I put the newspaper down to see Negs himself, with Quackerjack and Megavolt. Negs confirmed to me that he was the guy in the picture. He had gone "looney" before he hit the streets as a criminal. But that doesn't explain the whole Negaverse thing, as I realized later.

Last week, I had a dream about Liquidator...

I was in a strange shop with my Dad, Stepmother, and my two younger sisters. I was looking through t-shirts and old newspapers they were selling. The newspapers seemed to have cartoon drawings on every page, and the t-shirts had cartoons on them as well. The drawings in the papers and the t-shirts had gay sexual themes, often explicit. (Many of the t-shirts had Ninja Turtles on them, O_o) I was flipping thru the newspapers, and I saw what would be best described as a "classic" version of Licky. He was a 40's style cartoon dog who lived underwater. In the pictures he was in, he was "servicing" other male characters, in groups.

I had a dream last night about Megavolt, too...

Megavolt travels to another dimension to discover that his other-dimensional self is a corporate head who is worshipped like a god - so much so, in fact, that several national monuments and landmarks honoring others had been torn down or damaged, most notably, Mount Rushmore. For some reason, this upsets Megavolt greatly, and he sobs while curled up in a fetal position. Suddenly, he is greeted by another version of himself from a slightly different dimension. This version of himself is very cheerful, often speaking in a higher-pitched voice, and for some reason he's wearing a thin red line of lipstick. "Happy" Megavolt cheers our Megsy up and helps him find the Megavolt of the dimension they're currently in. They find him rather quickly... and I don't know what happens after that. I don't even know if any issues presented had been resolved. All I know is that our Megsy eventually went home, waving goodbye to both of his other selves.

I don't remember when I had this dream about Bushroot, but...

This one was particularly nasty. Bushy wasn't a mutant in this one... actually, he was mid-mutant. He looked like his "normal" self with the purple petals on his head from his "mutant" self. For some reason, Darkwing and Gosalyn had arrived at Bushroot's greenhouse, and Bushroot was... do forgive me for this... giddily masturbating to girly magazines, right in front of them. Darkwing had to cover poor Gosalyn's eyes... O_o;

As to any dreams with Quackerjack, I remember having dreams where he appeared on magazine covers, and as a talking doll, and he might have appeared as a wooden decoration at some Disney thing... but that's all I can remember, aside from his appearance in my Negaduck dream. I do know that he's the Fearsome Five member I dream about the most.

Wanna hear a different dream I had? I saw Webbigail Vanderquack (from DuckTales) and... get ready for this... her MOTHER! They were at Disney World, or something that resembled it... if anything it was a very twisted version of a Disney theme park. They even had a rave spot there where if you went, you had to wear razor blades to protect yourself from harmful people.

But back to Webby's mother. She looked like a regular duck (and I mean a Donald Duck-style body when I say that) with long black hair, wearing sunglasses, and she had a dressy brown coat on over her equally dressy outfit. Her clothing style reminded me of my own mother somewhat... but I'm definitely sure that this was Webby's mother in my dream.

My dreams are ka-way-zee!

I'm f***ing mad as hell.

I'm so goddamn upset right now you have no idea. I want to cut someone's throat open and watch them bleed to death. I want to crush someone's skull with a sledgehammer and step in their brain matter. And the weird f***ing part is that I have no idea why.

Okay, I got my two metal squares removed from my mouth. I'm getting lamninates for my teeth because they're so damn tiny. They look like baby teeth.

I swear I feel like Negaduck today. I want to rip someone's heart out and ground it into pate'. I want to rip out someone's spine and use it as a back scratcher. I want to tear out someone's small intestine and use it as a jumprope, then use it to hang the person by their neck.

Back to another anger distraction: I am having trouble at school emotional-wise, and it's interfering with my work. I'd rather die than drop out or fail a class, though.

I want to KILL someone. AAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I got my teeth cleaned weeks earlier and saw the dentist do yoga with one of his assistants on the floor of the waiting room. I just tried to draw and ignored the weirdness.

I'm listening to ACDC right now. How appropriate. First "Hell's Bells," then "Highway to Hell," "Money Talks," "Stiff Upper Lip," "Thunderstruck," and "TNT." "Highway to Hell," "Money Talks," and Thunderstruck" are three of my favorites. I wonder if Negaduck would like ACDC.

I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell...

Now that I think about it... "TNT" would be great for Negaduck or Quackerjack. They love blowing things up. More so for Negsy, though. "Money Talks" would be Liquidator's favorite. "Thunderstruck" obviously for Megavolt.

Maybe I should start a song section at Flapping Terror...

Nobody's joining my Bushroot contest at Flapping Terror, save for two or three people. I announced it two days ago. People can't read... I said they don't have to draw, that they could write instead, and they don't read the rules thoroughly. Maybe I should redesign the page so people get the message more clearly. Or bang my head against the keyboard because I'm so frustrated.

*uyh7jui78789ui78u7876yuuyhu76yuuiiui*

I feel sorta better now, but now my head hurts. Damn it... >_<

I'm going f***ing crazy.